Laughter is the Best Medicine. But if you’re Laughing without any Reason, You need Medicine.

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.

If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.

Life is short… smile while you still have teeth.

Google just called… Google said, “Someone is looking for you”.

Google just called… Google said, “Someone is looking for you”.

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

My Pillow is my best Hair Styler, Every Morning I wake up with a new Hair Style.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.

We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.

Never laugh at your wife’s choices… You’re one of them …

Just saw the most smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Sleep is My Drug, My Bed is My Dealer, and My Alarm Clock is the Police.

Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.

God is really creative, I mean…just look at me 😛

Knowledge is like Underwear, it is useful to have it but don’t show it off.

I didnt change , i just grew up. You shud try it once ?

Every problem comes with a Solution, if it isn’t then its a . . . GIRL. 

I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card

A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

Someone on his status “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead. 

Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy

You Don’t Know Something? Google It. You Don’t Know Someone? Facebook It. You Can’t Find Something? Mom!

Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…

Just finished blocking some numbers on whatsapp, if you can read this then you got lucky.

Beauty Fades After Time, But Personality Is Forever!

Why Is It That In Every Love Story, Mom Agrees And Dad Disagrees? It’s Because Mom Knows What Love Is, And Dad Knows What Boys Are. ♥

I am Neither Batman Nor Superman However i am superhero for my women..!

A single word can undoubtedly be a repository of knowledge, provided you’re willing to learn something new.

If you are afraid of life, you are scared to live.

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

I Wish My Parents Were Like Google. They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete.

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.

My GF will look beautiful in Adhaar Card

Stop checking my status ! Go Get A Life 😛

Can’t talk, telepathy only!

In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.

Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation

My laziness is like 8, when I lie down it becomes infinity 😀 :p

ife is too short. Dont waste it reading my watsapp status😛😛😛

We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police

One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp…..and his wife added last seen feature 🙂 😉

Everybody is so happy….I hate that.

When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!

Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day 😉

WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!

SI unit of ignorance = “seenâ€

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive

My Study Period = 20 Minutes , Rest Time = 2 Hours.

All the Rules are made.. to be break.

I hate men but I’m not lesbian.

!Brain is Work More When You can use…..

Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.

If your are still hate me!then No Problem!..

Don’t get a man(\woman) ,get a dog …they are loyal and they die sooner.

When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the..

Behind every Sucess man, there is a surpris

had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

70% boy Have GF ,other Have Brain!

A man is as young as  woman he feels.

I am not fat, I’m just easier to see.

My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…

If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂

Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…

Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!!!

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! 😛

People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping 🙂

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

Life is Short – Chat Fast!

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

How can i miss something i never had?

Hey there whatsapp is using me.

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call… Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..

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